family IS everything!

"Side by side or miles apart, sisters will always be in each other's heart."

Coming here in the US --- everything seemed okay at first. First day, first night, first week, and slowly things started changing direction.

And then, deepest and darkest time paid a visit --- worst, there was no shoulder to cry on. No one to hug and tell you that everything's going to be alright. Family is on the other side of the planet. Add the fact that we were in the mountain. There was nowhere else to go. I spent 90% of my time in the room we were renting. To be honest, it was hard not to think of an easy way out. Depression hit me hard. I gave up my past life to be with my future. And what did I get in return? I have loved someone so much that I knew I can't love anybody else the same way again. Love was so unfair. Dreams were shattered. Promises were broken. Our future was uncertain. But in these deepest and darkest times, I realized there were people I could turn to for strength and comfort.

Other than my son, who gave me the most reason to live. There were other individuals I felt like I did not thank enough, or at all, at least in my sincerest way. My sisters!

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Like other siblings, we did not start off as best of friends. Growing up, we fight, we argue. Misunderstandings that once led us to no communication for days, weeks, months and even years. But, maturity brought us back together. When it comes to my personal life, I used to hide my problem, especially from my family. I am mostly known for being happy and crazy. I'd rather not tell anyone when something is wrong, at the same time to protect my relationship. But sometimes, there are roads in our life we can't cross on our own. And this particular path was the hardest so far. I was glad I turned to my sisters. It was hard to open up about problems at first. Whenever they would ask how was I. I'd say, "I am fine. I am okay. I am good." The more they would ask how was I, the more I realized I was not okay. I needed someone to convince me that everything's going to be alright, because I couldn't convince myself anymore. But for them to be able to help me, they had to know what was going on. Our 15 hours time differences did not kept them from comforting me. It may be day here and night there, yet they kept me sane.

During those times I almost gave up on myself, I found people who would not give up on me. Lucky me, they were my sisters. The silver lining to this moment was that, we got even closer. And one of my sisters said, I have learned to open up to them. Thanks to technology, I may be physically far away from them, but it seemed like they were just in another state. Time difference was not that much of a hurdle.

If not for my sisters, I was not even sure if I would be here writing this now. Depression ain't a joke. There were demons inside my head that were hard to ignore. My sisters helped me fight those demons. So, Ate Aila and Ate Cring, this blog is for you!

Thank you for never ignoring my drama. For being there first thing in the morning and last thing at night. For willing to take me back and reassuring that I'll have help if I need to start over. That James and I were more important than pasalubong. I'd realized how very lucky I was and still am to have great sisters and great friends at the same time.

We were already close even before I left the Philippines but I felt like this situation got us even closer. I appreciated you both, in every ways possible. I know, sometimes, I get very grouchy or bitchy but it is just who I am, I can't change it. :P Despite that, you know, I will remain sweet and will always love you, no matter what. You saved me, and helped me get through. Thank you so much. Thank you for letting me cry my emotions out. Thank you for giving me reasons to smile. You two made me forget the sadness I had been going through. Up until now, you two are always there. One click of a button, there's either one of you or both at the same time. When you're around, I felt like I'm young again(not that I am really old.) I felt like I never aged, never left the Philippines.

Lagi niyo akong pinasasaya, kahit asaran pa yan or whatsoever. I know deep inside we just want to make each other happy. You two, very different individuals, each has unique sister qualities. But both excel as sister-friends. Our level of friendship and sisterhood was on another level.

I miss you both, well I miss you all. You have no idea how much I really really want to hug you in person and get to spend quality time together with you all. Again, thank you for being such crazy sisters, awesome friends and video-chat buddies. A call from you both always makes me and my kids happy.

Our future may be uncertain,

but one thing is for sure, I WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER LOVE YOU!

SALAMAT SA MASASAYANG ALAALA. :*

----xoxo----